My running mojo, that is. Yep, it’s back! It disappeared in March when my stress fracture showed up and then pretty much stayed on vacation until last week. Yeah, I ran some, but my heart wasn’t in it and I certainly didn’t have any desire to train for a race/get faster/increase my mileage. My Believe I Am training journal found its way to a desk drawer. I decided that maybe running just wasn’t a thing for me anymore, maybe I needed to throw in the towel. I even erased my “qualify for Boston” goal in the “about me” section of my blog.
Then I got sick…the annoying kind of sick where you feel crappy but not bad enough to miss work, just bad enough to make you totally unmotivated to do anything and too tired to care.
And then I finally went to the doctor, finally got a diagnosis, and finally stopped eating gluten. Right around that time Mojo returned. He’d been in Aruba soaking up the sun and he was finally ready to come back to me.
Mojo decided we needed a race to jump start his return, and he knew I needed a little something extra to motivate me, so we decided on the Philly Half Marathon and we decided to raise money for the Epilepsy Therapy Project and I decided to run for others. BAM!
Since then, just a short couple weeks ago, it’s been awesome. I have been excited to go on my runs and I have been feeling good. I haven’t been psycho about sticking exactly to the plan – instead I’ve let life get in the way and adapted my planso that I haven’t missed a run and I’ve done life things to make sure I stay balanced. Of all the things I’ve learned about myself in the course of my life, the most important one is that a balanced Abbey is a happy Abbey.
It’s not just mojo that’s given me a little help though. Through their own blog posts about running and life, Meggie and Jocelyn have impacted me a lot. First, they made me remember my Believe I Am journal. This is a great tool and I’m excited for round 2 with it. To be honest, my first go-round was a flop. Fortunately, I know, or at least think I know, where I went astray. My problem was three-fold…#1 – I made monthly goals that were unreasonable and unattainable. #2 – I had no plan! My goals in the beginning of the journal were empty with the exception of one, and my one goal had no “petals” to it! #3 – I didn’t really, deep down, believe in myself. Silly Abbey. So this time around I”m going to try to right those wrongs, and see what happens. I definitely need to work on my goal setting.
Then, Jocelyn also tweeted a quote that hit home to me – “Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm” – Winston Churchill.
Side note: I love me a good quote every now and then. Quotes are so powerful. In gymnastics in college my coach made us start each practice with a quote. We would stand in a circle and whoever’s day it was would read the quote, explain why she picked it and how it pertains to our team. Then we would discuss. Those quotes often motivated me for the day’s workout, they kept me focused, and I loved picking one out when it was my turn. I might have to start doing that for myself again.
When I read that it was like a light-bulb went off in my head. I have been totally un-courageous in running recently. I had a couple failures in a row and I just jumped right off the bandwagon. It feels good to be back on it again, but I know I haven’t been tested yet. Instead of dreading that next failure though, I’m embracing it, because only then will I really have the opportunity to be courageous. And when you’re courageous, big things happen. Good things happen.
I tried the whole “run as a part of a whole well-rounded exercise program” (i.e. run maybe once a week, exercise for the health/sanity benefits without a real goal). I realized that that just isn’t for me. I’m a goal oriented person, and I need something to work toward in my life. Running gives me that outlet, to set goals and work towards them, and hopefully achieve them. But just because I don’t reach my goals doesn’t mean I will be happier if I stop trying. Does that make sense? I sound like a crazy person to myself! Who knew EGLGFG was getting all soul-searching today?!
GOOD LUCK to everyone racing this weekend!!! Run Free, Run Fast!