I’m sure if I had a dollar for every blog post on the interwebz with that title I’d have…at least a couple hundred dollars. But it’s true, the last few weeks have brought about lots of changes!
I quit my job. I actually prefer the word “retired”, because I’ve never liked the word “quit”, but suffice it to say I will not be returning to the work force for the near future. My job will now be taking care of this cutie pie …
I know a lot of people, including myself, say “man I’d love to stay home”, and don’t get me wrong, I consider myself extremely lucky to be able to do so, but it definitely is still a big change. For the last 7 years my identity has been “i am an athletic trainer”. I honestly loved almost every second of it and there was rarely a day where I was just completely miserable, despite working many 60 hr weeks, and usually at least 6 days a week. I loved working with kids, I loved seeing them grow and mature, loved helping them return to the sports that they love, and it is definitely going to be an adjustment not having that in my life. Cool fact: the last event I worked was the girls soccer state championship, which my #5 nationally ranked girls won. Not a more deserving group of girls out there.
On the other hand, I have always wanted to be able to stay home and raise my kids. I know it’s not for everyone, and some women truly are better mothers when they are also working, but I don’t think I fall into that category. Add to that the fact that my husband has a very demanding job that has him working odd, long hours with lots of travel half the year, and the fact that neither of us have family close by, and suffice it to say that it’s definitely the best thing for me, for little one, and for our entire family.
I’m already working on some ways to volunteer, and really looking forward to being able to do a lot more thugs with hubster and baby since we’re only working around one crazy schedule (his) instead of two!
I’ve learned more in the last 9 weeks than I have pretty much in my entire life. About myself, about life, about how crazy severe lack of sleep can make you… Guess what guys? This parenting sh*ts hard. It’s also completely awesome, but there have definitely been some rough days and some big learning curves. I realized pretty quickly that pre-baby I lead a pretty selfish life. Not necessarily in a bad way, but before this I pretty much did what I wanted, when I wanted. Becoming a mother has definitely made me a better person in that I think about others (and not just my daughter) much more than I did before.
I’m also still learning to find a balance between being selfish (sometimes a good thing) and being so absorbed in taking care of little one that I don’t take care of myself. I am a Libra and I definitely need balance in my life. I also may or may not have said that to hubster, mid-sob, during a particularly challenging day 🙂 I’ve learned that no matter how exhausted I am, a good sweat and a hot shower work wonders on a fragile psyche.
I joined Strava! I was never a part of the Daily Mile crowd, and the only “online” mileage/activity log I’ve ever used was something my coach wanted me to use…I can’t even remember what it was called now! But after reading this post from Sarah I decided it would be something fun to try and a good way to chart my return to fitness post-pregnancy. I’ve never really gotten into sharing my weekly workouts on this blog, but if you’re interested in seeing what it looks like to return to running after a 10 month hiatus then follow me (please! I need more Strava friends!): my profile . I’m going to load every workout, no matter how small (like today’s 30 minute strength (Lesko Dirty Dozen) which had a 2o minute interruption halfway through to nurse little one), because I want to provide an honest look at this comeback.
I actually really like the program so far, and the iPhone app has been quite accurate compared to my Garmin on several runs.
Speaking of running, unfortunately things are moving pretty slow in that department. Both literally, which I expected, and figuratively, in the sense that I haven’t been able to get out there as much as I would’ve liked thanks to the polar vortex (can’t take baby along + roads are too snowy – our city literally ran out of salt. I wish I was kidding.) and hubsters crazy work hours (can’t get to the gym) AND baby’s sleep schedule (see below). On the few runs I have been on a few things are clear:
1- it feels DAMN good to be back and I’m thankful for every step.
2- I am definitely weak. it’s not such a bad thing that I’m not able to run because it makes me do more cross training and strength training which in the end will be a good thing, I think.
3- I am doing my best to convince hubster that we need a treadmill STAT. I think once he realizes my sanity revolves around it he’ll acquiesce.
4- I have a looong way to go before I’m back in the shape I was in a year ago. Bring it on. Luckily this is a girl that loves a challenge.
I have become a functioning zombie. Now, I knew pre-baby that I’m a girl that needs her sleep. I also knew (or thought I knew) that having a baby would make me a little sleep deprived. Well, I was wrong. Having a baby will make you INSANELY sleep deprived. So much so that you become incredibly irrational when dealing with seemingly trivial problems, and that you occasionally wake up in the middle of the night and your first thought is “where is the baby? is she still on my chest? attached to my nipple still? did I manage to get her back in the co-sleeper? did our dog eat her?”. Again, I wish I was kidding. Here’s a little taste of what the last 9 weeks have looked like, 99% of the time:
7 pm: attempt to put baby through “going to sleep” routine – change into jammies, try to get baby, who is clearly exhausted, to fall asleep.
7:15 pm: baby starts crying in your arms.
8:15 pm: baby is still crying. She has now been awake without a nap since 3 pm because apparently the world is just way too exciting to spend time doing stupid things like sleeping.
8:30 pm: baby makes giant pooping sound and then immediately falls asleep. You, being the idiot first time mom that you are, decide to change poopy diaper.
8:35 pm: baby wakes (duh) during diaper change and screams bloody murder through the whole thing.
9 pm: baby finally falls asleep again. you very quietly lay her in co-sleeper and slink into bed, trying to get in immediate go-to-sleep mode even though you haven’t brushed your teeth
9:45 pm: you finally fall asleep
10 pm: baby wakes to nurse. you nurse, change diaper, she falls right back asleep (SCORE!!!), you take 15-30 minutes to fall back asleep
12:30 am: repeat
2:30 am: repeat
4:30 am: “can this child PLEASE sleep for more than 2 hours?!?!?!” repeat. Wonder if you can use chapstick on your nipples. Fall asleep with baby on your chest.
7:30 am: wake up, shocked baby is still sleeping, freak out that maybe she isn’t breathing because she fell asleep on your chest. Affirm that she is, in fact, still alive, but very asleep, so lay her in the co-sleeper so you can get some actual good sleep.
7:45 am: baby wakes, time to play! You thank God, again, for inventing coffee.
Thankfully, for the past 3 nights lil one has given me at least one stretch of 4-6 hours, which has seriously made me a new woman. I’m hoping that if this is the norm I can start going to the gym to run on the treadmill if hubster is in town after her early morning feeding. We’ll see how that goes…
Plank-A-Day January “Goal” Recap:
Here are the results from the challenge. As you can see, I missed some days, but overall I think it served it’s purpose. Things I learned from this challenge?
- I don’t really love planking. but it does make me feel stronger, and I acknowledge it’s necessity.
- I didn’t have much motivation most days to go past 1 minute, and I was OK with that because the goal was a plank a day, not a plank for xx minutes a day.
- most days, the plank did lead into other strength activities (squats and toe raises holding baby, etc) and I think THAT was the best part about this challenge.
- Taking planking selfies is actually pretty fun!